Getting a Motorcycle

In 1977, my brother, Mark, took me on my first motorcycle ride. At age 12, I was a small frame, especially on his Harley. He let me sit on the tank and gave me control of the throttle and the handlebars.

That was my intro to motorcycle riding.

Since then, I have been hooked. A year later, I bought a Penton, 125 trail bike for $100. I got to ride it about three times, before the kicker stripped out and I had to push start it.

I sold it a year later for $25 after a friend of Mark took the tranny apart and found the gearbox was nothing but shavings. I then owned a minibike that ran like a top until my brother, Dean the Stoner, ran it without oil, and blew the engine.

In 1984, my brother, Mike, gave me his 1984 Honda 400CMT as a graduation present. During the time I owned it, I also owned several cars...all absolute junk...so I had transportation in the winter time. Winter time in Iowa goes from November to March.

I had one car that was decent...a Ford Maverick. I was paying a friend $25 per month, until I could no longer make the payments due to losing my job. Still, my Honda kept running, year after year.

In 1989, I traded the Honda for a '79 Oldsmobile Toronado. It lasted two weeks befor ethe engine caught on fire and got repoed.

My mom let me use her moped.

I found in the local paper a dream bike. A guy had three bikes and his wife said he had to get rid of one before he could buy another. He sold me a 1979 Yamaha 1100, full dress for $700. He let me pay $75 each week, and once it was paid, I rode away with my new bike.

I loved that bike. From 1989 to 1992, it started without fail. It was wonderful.

Until a drunk driver totalled it while it was parked. I wept openly. I tracked down the driver and got paid for the damages.

Instead of getting a new bike, I used the money to move to Annapolis, MD, where I met and married my wife. Even though I desired to get a new bike, she was absolutely scared of the idea.

In 1998, I got a 1994 Mazda Miata, instead of a bike, listening to my wife. Getting the car caused me to lose my job at the Pentagon...long story. Still, it was a reliable car, and only fell apart due to neglect, resulting from making sure my wife's Miata, a twin, was always in peak shape, and not making enough money to maintain two Miatas in top shape.

December 30, 2004, while on a 100 mile drive back from a comedy gig, my Miata's steering column fell in my lap, causing me to crash, totalling the car. It kept me safe, however.

After that, I told my wife, "It does not matter what your opinion is. I am getting a motorcycle. I doubt I will ever buy another car." Knowing my determination, she did not question it.

Financially, we hit some bumps, which has prevented me from getting a bike right away.

That is why I now am working a second job. Since we can get by with our current income, the second income will now go directly to paying for my new motorcycle.

I wanted a Harley, but the word is that the current Harleys are name and image, and not really high quality. So, I am setting my sites on getting a 2005 Kawasaki 1500, full dress. It is one third the cost of a Harley, and I expect I will own it until the frame rusts out from under me; so, loss of sale value is of no matter to me.

Happy Thanksgiving

For several years, my wife and I have invited people from our church, those that have no one else to spend Thanksgiving with, over to our house for Thanksgiving. It has been an incredible blessing to us as much as to them.

We started this because about 10 years ago, my wife and I were alone on Thanksgiving. She made the full meal, expecting at the least, the kids would be over. However, they decided to go to friends' houses...go figure. After that year, we decided, using Jesus' parable of the wedding feast as an example, we opened our home to others.

This year, we decided to open our home to military people who cannot make it home. This was an exercise in futility. I went to the recruiting station in hopes of getting connected to some needful military personnel. After standing in the door of the Army for five minutes, without so much as a hello, I went to the Marines. The sargent spoke with me and suggested I contact the USO.

After contacting the USO, I got transferred 4-5 times with the general response, "That's not my responsibility." My final attempt got me a voice recording. On Monday, I got a message back that basically said, "We don't do that, but we are willing to accept financial donations."

So, if anyone knows of a military person in the DC area who is spending Thanksgiving alone, please comment here and you and I will get in touch.

Last Thursday's Performance

You may or may not know that I do stand up comedy. You can see my web site at www.senseiern.tk

I want to thank the American University Cheer Leading Squad for their enthusiam.

The crowd was great. My start was a little shaky. But I ended strong. I should be getting a video of it and will post it when I do.

Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays

Retailers are now using Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. They are hoping that the PC idea will attract more people.

HUH?

I don't recall the big After Thanksgiving Channukah Sales attracting a lot of Jewish people...Except maybe at the Volvo dealer.

I don't see the big rush to buy Kwanzaa presents, except bags of lima beans at Trader Joes.

The PC attitude of retailers is helping me realize that Christmas is about Jesus and that presents are of no importance to me. I must thank them for that. It also means I won't be buying as much this year and may continue to buy less each year as I wean myself from the "gotta get this" attitude.

Perhaps, if I need to get presents, I will wait until December 26 and buy the leftovers and returns at half the price.

I am making this promise. If I can buy an item from two stores, I will use the Christmas Quotient to determine where I will purchase it.

1 point: Christmas trees are displayed as Christmas trees
-1 point: Christmas tree are referred to as Holiday trees

-1 point: For each XMAS reference I come across.

5 points: Christmas music is piped over the Muzak system
15 points: the Christmas music actually has something to do with Jesus
Sub-set of points:
+1 point for each Jesus-centered song
-1 point for each Santa-centered song
0 points for any Christmas song about being home for Christmas or anything from the Nutcracker
0 points for "Little Drummer Boy"
-15 points for each time I hear "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"

15 points: The words Merry Christmas are prominently displayed as I walk into the store
-15 points: Each display that says, "Happy Holidays"

45 points: I am met at the door by a greeter who says, "Merry Christmas!"
-50 points: I am met by a greeter or any other store employee who says, "Happy Holidays" and will deduct this for each occurrence

In case Walmart, Target, Kohl's, Macy's or any other retailer is reading this, I PREFER "MERRY CHRISTMAS".

Haikus...Ugh

My friend, Ginamonster worte in her blog about taking up haiku writing. I hate poetry.

Ugh, Haikus. I despise poetry in general.

Ever eat so much of something that you never want to eat it again? That is how poetry is for me.

Back in high school, my regular English teacher was out on maternity leave, then spent several weeks on vacation. The substitute misunderstood her intructions for the class.

The regular teacher wanted 9 days of poetry lessons.

Instead, the sub made us suffer through 9 WEEKS of nothing but poetry. (This is when I began to consider the merits of home schooling.)

We were required to keep a journal and to write poetry in them each day.

The first two weeks were ok, thinking, "This has to end some time." Little did I know.

By week three, we were doing haikus. By week three, I had discussed everything that a 15 year old has ever thought about. I began to make up stuff just to fill the pages.

By week 5, I began writing poetry about how much I hate poetry. I wrote how it makes me want to vomit. I wrote how poetry class is like a prison.

During week 9, we had no idea our regular teacher was about to return. I dedicated the entire week to writing different forms of poetry on how I can kill and torture the teacher for putting us through this ironman poetry competition.

I remember the haiku I wrote:
Knives are not enough
Deserving a painful death
Poetry teacher

I got an "A" for the class because of that poem. The teacher said I had really blossomed. A redneck guy does not "blossom".

Should I ever be captured by terrorists, I can handle anything...I've been through poetry class.