I Almost Died Laughing

My wife and I decided to delay celebrating our tenth anniversary until November 21. We wanted to see three Last Comic Standing comics perform at the Caesar's Paradise Stream.

Last week, we arrived, at another Caesar resort because Paradise Stream was full. We were to ride a bus from our resort to the other.

I should have taken the fact my wife was not feeling well as an omen. But, as a moderator on John Heffron's web site, www.johnheffron.com, I felt obligated to go to the show, without her. Plus, I have been dieing to see these guys in person.

First, our bus went down a road to narrow to back up on, and he took a corner too sharp for a Greyhound-type charter bus to make. He nearly backed over a cliff in the process of trying to un-stick his stuckness. In THAT process, he nearly took out my wife' Miata! He was just inches away from it when we convinced him to stop and let us out.

I got on the second bus, and made sure the driver was aware he could not go the same way.

The first bus did not hit the car.

The show was ok, but not as good as I would have hoped. This was perhaps because I wanted my wife to be with me. I took feverish notes of the performances for my Heffron web report.

I got on the bus for the return to my original resort. It was driver number one...Mr. Rent-a-Wreck himself. Forty of us trusted our lives to a guy only hours ago threatened to back over a cliff. We are stupid people.

The ride back was uneventful, until...

Until he took a wrong turn.

A wrong turn up a mountain road. Fifteen minutes later, he realizes that he missed a turn and decided to turn around.

Well, he got the bus stuck..again.

And, he nearly drove off a cliff...again!

Not only that, but as he tried to free the bus, he only succeeded in driving to within inches of going over a hundred foot drop!

Ever see Wile E. Coyote go over a cliff and not realize it until he is well beyond the point of no return? I could swear I saw "Acme" printed on the side of the bus.

We all got out of the bus. For some reason, I kept having South Park episode flashbacks to the one where the bus gets stuck, the bus driver leaves and becomes famous as a stand up comedian, while the kids are scared to get out of the bus, and when one does venture out, he is eaten by a monster lurking in the shadows.

Did I mention this was a mountain road? Oh, yeah. I did.

Did I mention we were miles away from any civilization?

Did I mention that the only light was the few moments that the moon peeked out behind an over cast sky?

Did I mention it was the first day of BEAR HUNTING SEASON?

All forty of us made it back alive. Some of us got sick...including myself.

Happy Anniversary, Honey! Cough! Cough!